everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
