woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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