So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
