I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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