I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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