i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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