Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
