i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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