thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
