Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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