My pussy is not your playground.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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