he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
is it fun? or sober?
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