sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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