So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
zippers are such a cool invention
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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