I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You took a bar mat shot.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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