So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
