"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
