Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
