Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is Oprah even human
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
