Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
