i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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