There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
