I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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