i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
