Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
