come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
