i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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