I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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