ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I am naked and annoyed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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