theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
