we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
