I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
