ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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