some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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