Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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