Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
