he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
