If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
bring money and cleavage
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
