susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
