if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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