So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
