I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
