Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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