I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
