Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
