dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
