In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
