i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
