You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
