I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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