okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
