I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
