I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
